just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
