"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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