You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
