fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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