My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
