Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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