I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
