i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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