Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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