This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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