Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize