My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
