the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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