In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
