Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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