Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need to align my fucking chakras
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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