I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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