i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
