woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
