walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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