Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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