the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
