It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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