Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
BRING THE BAGELS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
