I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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