Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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