all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
