We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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