I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
