R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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