addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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