Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
