I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
honey bunches of taint.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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