all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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