My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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