can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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