OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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