Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
