Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize