if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
