So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize