two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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