porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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