So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
