I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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