Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it glows. i had to have it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
