is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
