Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
