He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
