she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
