My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
