He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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