it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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