Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he shaved USA in his pubs
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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