i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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