How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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