false alarm. still invincible.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
