So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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