the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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